Tax Jokes and Quotes
Do you realize that some tax forms ask you to check a box if you are BLIND?
Quote: "Two years ago it was impossible to get through on the phone to the IRS. Now it's just hard to get through. That's progress." -Charles Rossotti, former IRS Commissioner
Disappointed that you never had time to write the great American novel? Don't fret, just go dig out your past tax returns.
Quote: "The Eiffel Tower is the Empire State Building after taxes."
Under the Freedom of Information Act, a man with a small business sent a request to the IRS asking if they had a file on him. The IRS wrote back, "There is now."
Quote: "It would be nice if we could all pay our taxes with a smile, but normally cash is required."
Q: Who audits IRS agents?
Quote: "Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is quite as satisfying as an income tax refund."
Q: How do you drive a CPA insane?
A: Fill out Form 1040EZ.
Quote: "The government deficit is the difference between the amount of money the government spends and the amount it has the nerve to collect."
Why is it that when the IRS loses a tax return, it is considered a mistake, but when you lose a receipt, it is considered tax evasion?
Quote: "The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling."
Q: How do you humble a person that flaunts their wealth?
A: Have them fill out a tax return.
Quote: "Even when you make a tax form out on the level, you don't know when it's through if you are a crook or a martyr."
Q: Why is a tax audit like a tornado?
A: There's a lot of screaming and you end up losing your house.
Quote: "When are we going to be allowed to list the government as a dependent?"
People often say death and taxes are the same, but this is wrong. Death is a taxable event, but taxes never die.
Richard Chapo is CEO of http://www.businesstaxrecovery.com - Obtaining tax refunds for small businesses by finding overlooked tax deductions and credits through a free tax return review.
MORE RESOURCES:
1031 Exchange Rules and Requirements
Following is a reproduction of the IRS's rules and requirements for 1031 tax deferred exchanges with regards to real property. If you have any questions regarding the sale of your real property or questions about what qualifies for a 1031 exchange or not, please consult your tax professional.
Render Unto Caesar
Once a year Canadian taxpayers are required, by law, to file an income tax return in the prescribed form: $150(1).For individuals: $150(1)(d) ITA, they must do so by April 30 of the following year, provided that they owe any taxes or if they are served with a requirement to file: $150(2) ITA.
Employment Taxes - Depositing With The IRS
If your business has employees, you must pay employment taxes. The payment system can be a bit confusing, so this article discusses how to go about depositing employment taxes with the IRS.
Fraudulent Tax Shelters - KMPG Goes Down Hard
In the largest criminal tax case ever filed, KMPG has copped a plea to using fraudulent tax shelters to bilk the government out of 2.5 billion dollars.
The Annual Gift Tax Exclusion: Getting The Edge
Whether helping the kids with a down payment on their first home, paying the premiums on a life insurance policy in an irrevocable trust, or moving appreciated assets to a younger generation, annual gifting will touch the lives of millions of Americans. But before the transfer is made, an investor should spend some time looking at the investment and the tax ramifications of the property to be passed.
I Havent Filed a Tax Return with IRS in Years, What Do I Do?
In elementary school, kids come up with creative excuses why they did not bring in their homework. "My dog ate it" or "It was stolen by invisible space aliens" might be given as a reason why something was not turned in on time.
Tips and Simple Guidelines on How to Calculate Payroll Taxes
Managing a business small, medium or big requires you to pay your taxes, as well as your employees taxes. Managing a payroll can be an arduous and taxing job, no pun intended.
How To Get An Instant Pay Raise
As a gentleman was leaving my class recently, he wanted me to clarify something I had said. He was making sure that he should take his four or five thousand dollar tax refund and pay off debt.
Are You Overpaying Taxes If You Use Tax Preparation Software?
For many business owners the answer to this quandary is tax preparation software. Fill out a fairly simple interview, click "print" and out comes a completed return that will pass muster with the IRS.
Tax Trap #1 -- Waiting to Incorporate: What A Difference A Date Can Make
NOTE: This is the first in a series of 5 articles: "Small Business Tax Traps and How To Avoid Them"If you're a sole proprietor, perhaps you've considered incorporating your small business or self-employment activity.And so maybe you've been wondering, "When is the best time to incorporate?"From a legal standpoint, any time is the best time.
Correspondence From The IRS - Yikes!
It's a moment every person dreads. You pick up the mail and there is an envelope from the IRS.
Marriage or Divorce - Check Your Social Security Number
Newlyweds and the recently divorced should make sure that names on their tax returns match those registered with the Social Security Administration (SSA). A mismatch between a name on the tax return and a Social Security number (SSN) could unexpectedly increase a tax bill or reduce the size of any refund.
Need an Offshore Sales Office in a Tax Free Environment?
The 100 year old investment-banking firm of Warburg, Dillon Read (on Park Ave. N.
Donating Cars To Charity - New Tax Rules
On June 3, 2005, the IRS released guidance on charitable deductions for donated vehicles. The American Jobs Creation Act (AJCA) radically changed the amount of the deduction taxpayers can claim for their donated car.
Save Money on Taxes - Double Your Income Now With Tax Saving Tips on Deductions
Adding Your First Additional Stream of IncomeMost new wealth builders currently have a full-time job. After realizing that means "Just ----Over Broke" they commit to quitting their job and starting their own business.
Tax Trap #3 -- IRS Penalties, Interest and Love Letters
As a small business owner or self-employed person, one of the easiest ways to keep Uncle Sam off your back and out of your life is to file your forms, payments and other paperwork on time.Over the next four months there are several key dates that you dare not forget! Here they are -- all in one place, along with links to the IRS website PDF file for that particular form, where appropriate.
Small Business Tax Credit - Americans with Disabilities Act
Many small businesses complain when confronted with the expense of complying with the Americans with Disabilities Act. Most do not realize that there are a number of tax incentives available to offset the costs.
Tax Time Tune Up
Excerpted from the new book, "How to Do Space Age Work with a Stone Age Brain" TMThe complete article with pictures and sample Auto Log is available at www.organize.
Tax Deductions - Mr. C.P.A. Can I Deduct a Pizza? You Too Can Deduct Your Fun By Using Tax Tips
Recently, I stumbled across a concept that could change your financial life. You can call it a paradigm shift or a new perspective or just a different way to look at things.
Furnishing Evidence in E-Tax Compliance
Self-assessment relies on taxpayers voluntarily meeting their tax obligations. This concept is recognised in all tax statutes, which sets out taxpayers' primary obligations, and clearly spells out that taxpayers are required to determine the amount of tax payable correctly and to pay it on time.